Learner Time

Vacation
Saturday, 24 April, 2010

I don’t know why I even go anywhere on the holiday. The best times I have are in the village with Nicky and whoever else we hang out with. I went to her house this morning after making chocolate chip cookies for the long car ride I have to Cape Town. I found her there, her brother Mukoya, sister Kunyima and many other people who live on the same homestead. We just sat around for a while, playing whatever games entertained us for long enough until something else came along. The 2 small kids - Precious and Lulu - offered the most entertainment. Mukoya brought out the Scooby Doo cards I’d given him a while ago and we played the Namibian versions of crazy 8s and spoons. Kunyima was cooking lunch in the midst of all this and I was planning to eat whatever it was, hoping it was porridge with any kind of non meat relish (sauce). It was.

But when Nicky and Kunyima brought the plate of mudhika and bowl of dimbombo and we all sat in the sand together planning to eat from the same plate and bowl as everyone else, Nicky was told that I had a different meal coming from another house on the homestead. This had happened in the past unexpectedly once, and neither of us had liked it, so I hoped that it had been resolved and we could eat together this time. That’s how we eat when she’s at my house. I also made a point of not going over there for a while during a meal because I’d been uncomfortable and Nicky was offended.

So Nicky, Mukoya, Kunyima and Karabo ate lunch while I waited anxiously for food I didn’t know what it was. When it came, I panicked because it was meat and rice - both of which have made me very sick and I try to avoid. So I caused another problem and was given a plate of only rice. I thought about that mudhika and dimbombo the whole time while I ate with a guy I don’t know (let’s call him Kalambo even though I know that’s not quite right, but might be close) with Nicky, Kunyima and Mukoya sitting nearby under the tree waiting patiently for us to finish.

Kalambo had greeted me earlier when I’d shown up and told me that we have to work together on a project to help all the orphans in the villages. He wanted to know what we could do. First thing, get them all birth certificates! You come to school and make a list and bring it to the governor. I’m spending all my time actually teaching these kids math and having a lot of success with it, but it doesn’t leave much time for anything else. So you do that and then we can figure out what to do next. That had been the basis of our first conversation.

Then we had lunch together. And it took everything in my power not to yell at him. I tried to make it a conversation where both parties got to participate, but quickly realized that’s not what he had in mind. So I had to sit quietly while he told me how kids are suffering 100% here and we have to do something and we have to make a project to help them and it’s not fair the way they have to live and you can see how kids on the same homestead eat different things because one family can’t afford anything but another can and how the parents don’t work and can’t pay school fees. It’s all true, but he was saying it in a condescending way and kept using Nick y and her family as the example, while they were sitting right there listening. He works at the hospital and said he wants to give them even N$50 at the end of the month when he gets paid but he can’t afford it because he has his own kids and wife (Nicky later clarified that to mean that he has 2 kids and a wife here in the village and 2 kids and another wife in another village). And then he’d start over again and tell me the same things 3 or 4 times. In the end, I told him to come up with a written plan and asked exactly how he wanted my help. To get donors of course. I can tell you right now that he’ll eat that money.

I wanted to scream in his face and tell him I AM helping these kids. I paid Nicky’s school fees because I know her mom can’t afford it and I want to make sure she’ll stay in school. I’m not asking you to recognize me for doing that, I did it because it’s the right thing to do. Nicky has helped me in ways she’ll never know and that’s the least I can do to help her. I never have time for myself because if ANY kid has a problem, I spend all of my energy on that problem. I can’t change the attitudes of people, that’s up to them to do for themselves, but I can do what I think is right and I DO what I think is right EVERYDAY. I’ve helped more kids realize that they’re important and matter than you’ve ever even considered doing. It makes me sick the way you and every other adult treats any kid whether it’s your own or someone else’s. You’re living on the same homestead as Nicky and her sister and brothers and they’re the ones suffering, yet you’re not doing anything to change that! You’re a freaking asshole and you don’t need me to help you start some project, you want me to either DO this project or just think that you’re a better person than you are. You have a lot more power than you think you do to change the lives of a few kids, but you choose to spend your money on alcohol instead. So while I’m sitting here telling you that you come up with a written plan while I’m gone on vacation, I know that you won’t do anything except continue living your content life while you watch all of these injustices take place.

But I kept my mouth shut. I kept looking over and Nicky who looked like she was near tears, I was near tears myself. All I wanted to do throughout the whole meal was get up, walk away with Nicky and tell her why I was so frustrated - I knew she was understanding my glances and the looks of frustration we both had. I would have cried in the ranting with her that I wanted to do. Finally he finished and left and I could go back to visiting with Nicky, Kunyima and Mukoya. I asked what Nicky felt after listening to all that. Bad. It’s not true. He didn’t say things that were true, he’s not going to do anything. I know. What about the food, how did that make you feel? Bad. She was offended that they don’t let me eat her food. Then some of the ranting came out, in a VERY toned down way and choosing my words carefully.

That is why I like you so much, and why I like learners more than the teachers or other adults. You don’t see me as a white person, or someone any different from you. I’m just your another person, your teacher, even your sister. You don’t try to give me different things to eat. You treat me the way I want to be treated. I can sit in the sand and eat porridge from the same plate with you and it’s FINE. I love doing that! And you let me. I’m not someone special, I’m just another person and you treat me like just another person.

Other things were discussed about the conversation over lunch but Nicky shut me up as he walked back over. He told me that he’ll pay N$40,000 when I go so I can bring his daughter to Europe. I don’t live in Europe. OK, then to America.

Nicky, Kunyima and I went to the river so they could bathe. I watched Precious and looked for crocodiles while they got clean. Then we went to find Ndara who was busy watching a movie and we left him to go watch the soccer game at the sports field.

My afternoon was saved by teaching these three kids who are somehow my peers the silly games and songs I learned as a kid…

Great green globs of greasy grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Little birdy turdy feet
Freanch fried eye balls sitting in a pool of blood
And I forgot my spoon
So they gave me a scab sandwich
Mustard on top
Eagle eye balls and camel snot
All these things were cooking in the pot
So they gave me puke with sugar on top!

Nicky Nicky bo bicky
Banana fana fo ficky
Me my mo micky
NICKY!

Spell “I CUP”… I - C - U - P… I see you pee. [I had to tell them what “to pee” means]

After the soccer game where they took some photos with my phone and played games on it while we watched and sang those silly songs, we came back to my house where I gave them each a chocolate chip cookie (Madam, what is this?) that we ate quietly and secretly so the neighbor kids still around wouldn’t come looking for one too, and I gave them the food from my fridge that would go bad in the 3 weeks I’ll be gone - some bread, onions and tomatoes. They were very thankful and it was the least I could do after the debacle at lunch.